Will my sister and her partner tie the knot?

I’ve been hoping for a wedding for a long time

Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

Since my sister met her partner six years ago, I have lost count of the number of hints I’ve dropped about them getting married.

At first, I did it subtly. ‘A wedding would be lovely,’ I’d say if the conversation ever wandered into wedding territory. ‘Nothing beats a good wedding.’ I’d glance in his direction and smile sweetly, wanting to make him feel part of the family.

On my wedding anniversary, I’d show him photos and video highlights, and say, ‘I wish you could have been there. It was a good day. Lots of fun.’ And I made sure to keep it all positive and not mention the planning nightmare or the family fallouts.

Still, he didn’t take the hint.

During lockdown, when life was grim, I practically got down on my knees and begged him to propose. ‘We need a wedding to look forward to,’ I’d tell him. ‘We need hope and something to be thin for.’

That was when my dad warned me off. ‘You need to stop,’ he said. ‘You’ll scare him off. The poor man has enough on living with them.’ He meant my sister and niece, who together are quite the force.

As a family, they seemed blissfully happy. Surely a wedding would be the next step.

But nothing.

Out of lockdown, we celebrated my sister’s fortieth birthday with a big party. I was in the queue for the buffet when one of my sister’s friends tapped me on the shoulder.

‘We think he will propose tonight,’ she said. ‘We’re waiting for him to get down on one knee.’

I glanced to the dance floor where he was reaching for the stars with S-Club 7. ‘Not tonight,’ I said.

Then came the trip to Venice. ‘This is it,’ I told my husband. ‘He’ll definitely propose now.’

I thought so. My sister’s friends thought so, even his mum thought so.

My sister called when she returned, telling me about the trip.

‘There’s no ring?’ I asked.

‘No.’ She laughed. ‘No ring.’

‘Well, that’s disappointing.’

But she didn’t seem bothered.

Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

We didn’t mention anything about weddings until the Sunday before Christmas in 2022, when we were having a family lunch at The Ivy in Leeds.

I don’t know what came over me, but I was even more direct in my questioning. ‘Will there be a ring this Christmas?’ I asked.

‘No!’ He almost launched himself across the table to shut me up.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes!’

From the stony expression on his face, I could see he didn’t want to discuss weddings. Now or ever again.

Silence fell across the table, which is when Mum launched into a soliloquy about weddings and marriage. She went on about how it’s a waste of time and money for just one day, how stressful it is, and how you end up married to the same person for a lifetime. That you should think it through, not rush into anything and maybe not bother.

And with that, all hopes I had for a wedding were not just dashed, but completely and utterly destroyed.

‘He really doesn’t want to marry her,’ I said to Chris, my husband, later that night.

Chris shook his head. ‘No. That was a very definitive no.’

‘I wonder why? She’s not that bad,’ I said. ‘And Olivia is lovely, and they have a home together, so why doesn’t he want to marry her?’

I worried their relationship was doomed.

Except he’d had a secret trip to London where he’d bought the ring, ready to propose on Christmas Day.

My sister sent me a picture of the ring, and I phoned her and screamed down the phone. ‘Aaahhhhhh! That’s so exciting!’

And then we went round to celebrate.

‘I’ve been trying to do it for two and a half years,’ my brother-in-law-to-be said. ‘I wanted to do it without face masks and restrictions.’

‘What about Venice?’ I asked. ‘We were convinced you’d ask then.’

‘I didn’t have the ring in time.’

‘And your reaction at The Ivy.’

‘Did I give it away,’ he said. ‘Did you realise?’

‘Not at all,’ I said. ‘We just thought you didn’t like her.’

But that didn’t matter now. After six years, I was delighted that finally, he’d taken my hints.

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Huge congratulations to my sister and brother-in-law who married yesterday.