I remember nothing
So, I’m writing it down (February update)
My plan is to write a monthly reflections post. As you probably know, I’ve tried this before with varying degrees of success, but I’m hoping to make it a regular habit.
This is my attempt at slowing down the passage of time, stopping myself racing from one thing to the next without taking a moment to pause, look back, and reflect on what I’ve been doing.
As well as being quite a nice thing to do, it helps me remember and consolidate my memories before they’re gone forever. Otherwise, my life continues at three hundred miles an hour and before I know what’s happening, it’ll be December and someone will ask if I’ve got my tree up yet, and I’ll say, ‘Tree? It was only February last week and I remember nothing.’
I was trying to think of something exciting to call this monthly piece, something other than monthly round up or reflections, but I can’t think of anything. Every time I write ‘reflections’ that Diana Ross song comes to mind. I start humming the tune—I’m doing it now—and then can’t get it out of my head for the rest of the day. It needs to stop. Really, it does!
Anyway, ‘Bits and Pieces’ sprang to mind as a possible title. I’m not sure why. It doesn’t explain very much, and it’s rubbish, so I will wait and see what other ideas emerge.
With no further rambling, this was February.
Started the month with a date with my husband—at the garden centre for lunch (cheese and beetroot sandwich for me, pulled pork for Chris) followed by the cinema because we know how to live it up. We watched a Florence Pugh film that sparked an existential crisis on my part, wondering if I should quit Substack, give up on my writing dreams and spend the rest of my life wondering ‘what if I’d continued?’
Later in the month, I saw a post on LinkedIn that said: ‘The only failure is quitting,’ and I was grateful I’d not given up. I will continue my quest for literary greatness one word at a time, and if only my mum and Auntie Karen read my words, so be it.
My day job has been incredibly busy this month managing a marketing campaign. I channelled my inner Nora Ephron and wrote, directed, filmed, and produced a video. I spent a couple of days working at Leeds Trinity University, where I loved chatting to the staff and students, but also catching up with my former colleagues. There was a big networking event, where I had to be all chatty chatty; the sorting of an advertising campaign in Manchester, and then, a fitness challenge in Liverpool, which involved throwing a lot of weights about when I’m not accustomed to throwing anything.
My body went into shock, then seized up completely. Just getting up and down the stairs was an ordeal. Every part of me hurt, even my wrists. I think I might also have had some sort of virus because I was drained of all energy. I had a week off exercise, which was strange but also kind of nice.
What I’ve been writing
Here’s a reminder of my Substack pieces for February.
What happened when I walked away from my day job
I’ve also been working on the project that started as a comedy script but is now very much a novel. I’ve had lots of fun getting to know the characters and developing the story. I had been hoping to bash out a really quick first draft, but I work full time. We had Christmas, then January with the bad weather, then February with my hectic work schedule. Inevitably, my writing pace slowed. I’m on a mission to pick it up in March.
What I’ve been reading
I’m currently reading Demon Copperhead which is brilliant but very big and I’m trying my best to finish it before Thursday because we’re discussing it at book club.
If I ever get through the 546 pages (all in tiny print), I will be reading Raising Hare by Chloe Dalton. This book has been longlisted for the Women’s Prize for Nonfiction and is about how Dalton finds a newly born hare and tries to give it a chance at survival.
‘If a book about a hare has done so well,’ I said to Chris. ‘Maybe I could write a Substack post about finding my rabbit.’
‘Maybe,’ he said.
‘I thought no one would be interested, but with the hare book being a bestseller and nominated for awards, maybe they will.’
‘May…be…’
Chris isn’t convinced, but if you’d like me to bore you with my rabbit story, please let me know. I found her, you see, in the wild—under the bridge near the dodgy car park on the Trans Pennine Trail. Surely, her story has the makings of a bestseller.
In other books, I finished Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, which is the best book on time management and productivity I’ve ever read. I’ve tried to pass on the wisdom to friends, family and anyone who’ll listen, but I need to work on my explanation and summary of the key points.
‘It’s a matter of choosing what we want,’ I told my friend. ‘We can’t do everything.’
‘Should I just cancel all my clients?’ she said.
‘Well, no, but…’
‘I can’t choose to cancel all my clients.’
‘No, but you can accept that we can’t do everything and there’s a freedom that comes with that.’
‘I CAN’T cancel my clients.’
‘Read the book,’ I said. ‘He explains it so much better than me.’
What I’ve been watching
Chris has been nagging me to watch Shetland for months. I refused because I wanted to watch comedy. No one is laughing in Shetland. There’s just a lot of murder, death and misery.
This month, I gave in, and then spent every episode asking why does Tosh’s husband call her Tosh and not by her first name? What is her first name? And what happened to the baby they had in the previous episodes? There was no mention of it.
After this, we went back to the fun stuff with Amandaland, which I loved, and series one of Back to Life. Both made us laugh so much.
I can’t forget to mention Prime Target on Apple TV with the lovely Leo Woodall from One Day.
‘It’s Wednesday,’ Chris said, running into the living room like he’d got a new lease of life.
‘So what?’ I said, because it was Wednesday, and there’s not much to get excited about.
‘The new Prime Target drops on Wednesday!’
I’ve never seen my husband look so happy.
In other news, I bought not one but two pairs of trendy New Balance trainers, influenced by my 12-year-old niece who tells me what’s in and what’s not, and a lovely red summer dress from Hobbs in the sale.
In the hip shoe shop, I realised I was the oldest person in there—except Chris, who is three years older than me. ‘We could be the parents of everyone in here,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ he said, looking significantly less happy than when he’d realised it was Wednesday.
We finished the month as we started it—at the garden centre for lunch (cheese and beetroot sandwich for me, ham and beetroot for Chris), followed by an afternoon at the cinema. This time, to see the latest Bridget Jones, also with Leo Woodall. I laughed, I almost cried, but thankfully, avoided an existential crisis.
How was your February? Let me know in the comments.
P.S. I still can’t think of anything for the title. Days Like These came to mind, but that sounds like it should be a nineties TV drama. In the end, I liked the ‘I remember nothing’ angle, which is very Nora Ephron, so I thought I would roll with it.