Everything is copy

On Nora Ephron and her approach to writing

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

‘Who is your favourite writer?’ a woman in Waterstones asked me last week.

We were in the queue for the cafe and even though we were in a bookshop, the question took me by surprise. People, and I’m including myself here, are usually so focused on what drink or cake they’re ordering that other than a smile here or a hello there, there’s never much time for chatting.

But this woman turned around and asked me straight out. ‘Who is your favourite writer?’

I didn’t have time to think. I just said the first name that popped into my head.

‘Nora Ephron,’ I said.

The woman nodded, ordered her latte and croissant, then went on her way, leaving me in the queue, desperately wanting to say more.

I wanted to explain how hard it is to narrow it down to just one favourite writer. There are so many authors whose work I love, all for different reasons. Writers of memoir and fiction, writers that have influenced my writing, writers who make me laugh, writers who make me cry, writers who tell such an engaging story that I completely escape.

It is unfair to pick just one, but on the rare occasions when I am in the queue waiting for my tea and flapjack and someone asks, Nora Ephron will always top my list.  

As you probably know, Ephron was an American journalist, film director, producer, screenwriter, novelist, and blogger. She was best known for her romantic comedies, including When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle.

If the latte woman in Waterstones hadn’t been in such a hurry to devour her drink and croissant, I would have explained why I’m such a fan. 

The main reason is Ephron’s humour. She makes me laugh. I love I Feel Bad About My Neck, her collection of essays about ageing, where she perfectly captures the everyday trials and tribulations of being a woman. It’s brilliant! Her honesty and humour in confronting the realities of getting older are comforting.

Lots of quotes from the collection have stayed with me. Like…

‘Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.’

‘If the shoe doesn’t fit in the shoe store, it’s never going to fit.

‘When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.’

And my favourite, the one to which I can most relate, ‘Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for by the age of forty-five.’

This is so true. Having recently turned forty-five, I’ve been wondering what happened to the strong, fit and sporty version of me. I have no idea where she went.

Anyway…

There is so much in this collection that resonates with my own experiences of being a middle-aged woman. I share Ephron’s frustrations with handbags, finding them a ‘very demanding and difficult accessory’.

Coordinating a matching bag and outfit is always something of an ordeal for me. My sister (aka the Queen of Handbags) got the handbag style gene in our family. Such is my handbag problem that I’ve recently bought a rainbow multi-coloured bag hoping it will match just about everything.

Nora Ephron wrote for women like me.

‘This is for women who hate their purses, who are bad at purses, who understand that their purses are reflections of negligent housekeeping, hopeless disorganisation, a chronic inability to throw anything away, and an ongoing failure to handle the obligations of a demanding and difficult accessory (the obligation, for example, that it should in some way match what you’re wearing).’

Then there are her thoughts on beauty maintenance. ‘Maintenance takes up so much of my life I barely have time to sit down at the computer…. Maintenance is what you have to do just so you can walk out the door knowing that if you go to the market and bump into a guy who once rejected you, you won’t have to hide behind a stack of canned food.’

As well as being fun and relatable to read, Ephron has also been a big inspiration and influence throughout my writing career. Like her, I started in journalism and, like she did, I write about the highs and lows of everyday life. I’ve not had the Oscar nominations and a career as a film director. But I did get an A-level in media studies from Barnsley College (1999) so I’m hopeful there’s still time to make the red carpet.

Her ’everything is copy’ motto is one I have not just taken to heart but embraced as my main rule for writing. In the HBO documentary Everything is Copy (2015), Nora explained its origins. Both her parents were screenwriters, and the advice comes from Ephron’s mother to her four daughters, all of whom became writers.

Nora said: ‘We all grew up with this thing that my mother said to us over and over, and over and over again, which is ‘Everything is copy.’ You’d come home with something that you thought was the tragedy of your life—someone hadn’t asked you to dance, or the hem had fallen out of your dress, or whatever you thought was the worst thing that could ever happen to a human being—and my mother would say ‘Everything is copy.’’

She added: ‘When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you. But when you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it's your laugh. So you become a hero rather than the victim of the joke.’

In her work, Nora shared details of her private life, including her relationships. She wrote about her body, ageing, and feminism. When her marriage to the Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein ended, she fictionalised her experience in the comedy novel, Heartburn.

In the documentary she says, ‘Writers are cannibals…They are predators. And if you are friends with them and say something funny at dinner, or if anything good happens to you, you are in big trouble.’

Everything is copy. Nothing is off limits. Write about anything and everything, and be relatable, fun and honest. This is what I have learned and what I try to do in my work.

So, when the woman in Waterstones asked, ‘Who is your favourite writer?’ I wanted to explain that it wasn’t just about Ephron’s books. It was about Ephron herself—her approach to life, her approach to writing and creativity. It was about ‘everything is copy’ and seeing the richness of material in ordinary day-to-day life. It was about knowing what you want and going and getting it.

And it wasn’t just about Nora Ephron. It was about me and everything I want to be.

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