A surprise tarot reading
Unexpected but interesting…
I’ve never had a tarot card reading or any inclination to have one, so I was more surprised than anyone to find one in my inbox this morning.
The offer to have a reading came back in April when I met my friend and former colleague in Leeds for a midweek catch up. After ten years in his current job, my friend had taken voluntary redundancy and was looking forward to starting his next chapter, combining his passions of writing, spiritualism, and coaching.
I was keen to support him and over a few cups of tea and biscuits shared my experience of writing, coaching and self-publishing. That’s the thing with the writing community—it’s not a competition; we all support each other. It’s an exciting time for my friend and I was delighted he had this new opportunity to follow his creative ambitions.
As a thank you, he offered me a tarot reading. Admittedly, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know much about it and couldn’t help being sceptical and also a little afraid.
‘Don’t pull the death card,’ I told him. ‘I’ve had enough of that. I can’t take any more loss.’
If he’d come back to me with doom and gloom and the grim reaper on the horizon, my perimenopausal anxiety would have gone into overdrive. I wouldn’t have left the house.
He reassured me, but as I said goodbye, I hoped he would forget about his offer. He’d be so focused on the next step in his career that it would vanish from his mind.
Two- and a-bit months went by. The tarot reading slipped from my mind entirely, but not my friend’s. I should have known it wouldn’t. He’s a lovely man with a big heart and would never let anyone down. He was waiting for the right time for my reading.
This morning, I was enjoying a leisurely morning. I’d been out for a 5k run and was sitting in the sunshine, recovering with a cup of tea and a fruit and yoghurt breakfast, when the email came through.
‘It’s sent with a big hug,’ my friend wrote.
My fears from before had vanished (not sure why) and I was intrigued to see what cards he’d drawn and what it might mean.
I read the first line.
You have always really stood out as a person because you are beautiful both inside and out.
I’ll take that. If I didn’t read anything else, that was more than enough to brighten up my day.
Others around you are more materialistic and vainer, but you have enduring qualities that really draw people to you. This was especially the case for your husband—you were the one and only.
This made me laugh. I stopped reading and went to consult with Chris.
‘Is that right?’ I said. ‘Am I your one and only?’
‘Of course,’ he said.
That was the right answer. But then again, he was hardly going to say. ‘Sorry, no. I’ve got a thing with Ian from the office.’
I read on.
You have often wondered what the best way would be to make money, often while out in nature daydreaming of having nice things. You have felt shackled before in terms of what to do. As much as you enjoy your work, you really want to put on a different face and do that thing that will bring you such brightness (knowing you, this is obviously your writing).
This was all very true. When I’m out walking, I get lost in my head, dreaming of writing possibilities. Unfortunately, in choosing a writing career, I have picked the hardest career in the world. It is so difficult to make it on the scale my ambitious self has always wanted (i.e. internationally bestselling author). Like many writers, I have a day job (in communications and marketing), juggling my writing career alongside this. I also coach other writers and teach and do lots of things which all stem from my passion for writing.
Having children wasn’t really on the cards for you. The focus was more on enjoyment without such commitments. Although you do think about this.
I love children but never had the urge to be a mum. We thought about it for a good two weeks back in 2008 when Chris declared, ‘he’d be a good dad,’ but then we decided not to bother. We had our horses, dogs and rabbits, and we had each other. Even when my niece was born in 2012 and we were both so unbelievably smitten with this beautiful baby, still we didn’t want our own. We had our horses, dogs, rabbits, and now we had Olivia.
Despite all that, there was always the possibility that we might change our minds. We had time. Now I’m 45, we’ve moved beyond possibility. Just lately, I’ve remembered a former colleague saying she felt sad when she realised at menopause that she was never going to become a mum. I wondered if that would happen to me. Would I regret what I never had?... The thing is, I have a special relationship with my niece. It’s my everything and that, for me and Chris, is more than enough.
You are going through a period where you feel you aren’t achieving everything you really want to out of life in terms of your career, but you are a hard worker, and you are not hanging around. You taking it easy is another person’s definition of going flat out.
I couldn’t argue with any of that. I am a grafter, a workaholic, and I’m driven and ambitious. I can’t help it. We’re going on a two-week holiday soon and I almost had a panic attack earlier this week when I thought I wouldn’t be able to do any writing on holiday. I can, of course, and I will.
You are thinking again, daydreaming about your future and having enough money to live a more lavish lifestyle but you know all the ‘typical hard work’, going round in the same circles and riding the wheels you currently do daily, won’t get you where you really want to be.
This is interesting because I’m currently working with a mentor/coach and making some changes to my writing career. We’ve been looking at new ways of working—adapting and finding easier but more productive ways. My plans are ambitious, but I’m focused on achieving them one small step at a time.
Look out for something magical that is happening that you don't yet know about. You will be riding high and proud with an amplified voice. It could even be something to do with horses, a grey and a white one.
‘I loved that last card for you,’ my friend wrote. ‘It was so positive and had horses on.’
Apparently, a lot of the cards he drew for me had horses on them.
My first thought when I read this was, ‘I’m not getting any more.’ Horses have been my life but they have also broken my heart many times. I’ve been lucky to own seven. Six have died (all living long and healthy lives) and only Blaze, my old Welsh Cob is still living.
The grief of losing them has been overwhelming. With only Blaze left, I’ve been thinking about the inevitable—a time when horses will not be in my life. Seeing the cards made me feel better. Horses will always be in my life—whether the past, the present, or the future. They are part of me, and I couldn’t help but think the two mentioned were my much-loved Shetland ponies, Jock and Hamish, reminding me that they are still with me.
Creative projects you take on will be successful.
Really? Well, that’s marvellous. As long as successful means being catapulted from obscurity to the top of the book charts, I’ll take that. Thank you very much.
Speak to your friends about your ideas and follow that career idea that you really love.
I interpret this last one to be the sign to keep sharing my writing here on Substack—to be open and honest about the reality of the writing life and to keep going with the same hard work, energy and enthusiasm that I’ve always had.
The reading was all very positive and a long way from the doom, gloom and death, I’d fretted about. I don’t have any previous tarot readings to compare this to, but it was rather lovely, providing clarity and reassurance that I am exactly where I want to be in my life, married to a man I love and doing the work that makes me happy. It was a nice reminder.
About me: I’m Liz Champion, a writer from Yorkshire, feeling very calm and happy this Sunday evening.
